During my lifetime, I have been through eight surgeries: (1) Heart surgery-Patent ductus arteriosus – First-ever done on a 3-year-old, (2) Tonsils, (3) Cancer (cervical), (4) Tubes tied, (5) Hysterectomy, (6) Heart surgery (SVT - Catheter ablation), (7 & 8) Cancer (squamous cell – they had to go in twice, and where I had it, was the first these doctors had ever seen and it became a teaching case)—all in less than 50 years.

I truly felt dismissed by doctors when I had SVT, which started when I was 13—incorrectly diagnosed until I was 38. For twenty-five years, I was told it was anxiety. Finally, the SVT was corrected with a 5-hour surgery in 2006.

The next time was when I wanted a hysterectomy but only ended up getting my tubes tied.

The doctor kept looking at my husband all the time. Of course, it was my hysterectomy, not my husband's, but the doctor refused, claiming "you are too young" and "you might change your mind." Never mind that I was over 30, had a child already over the age of 10, and that hubby #1 and I didn't want kids after five years of marriage. Still, the doctor would only tie my tubes.

About ten years later, I finally got my hysterectomy. The hoops they make you go through to get approved for that! Oh yea, they also needed my current husband's permission. Don't you love that one?

Now try getting doctors to listen to you about menopause.

When I finally saw a doctor about how crappy I was feeling, it was a male nurse practitioner. After the practitioner did all the tests, he came back with, "You need to get more tests." I ran around for six months that year chasing non-existent problems this nurse thought I might have. He never checked my hormones, only a CBC.

In a moment of clarity, I went to see a gynecologist. It was a man. He ran all the tests and said, "You are in menopause," throwing me a couple of packets of some formula he probably got paid to distribute. My rule is to get a second opinion, and this time it was a young female whose only ties to menopause was that her mom was going through it. I left her office feeling deflated and unheard and have not seen a doctor for menopause again, and unless I'm dying, it won't happen.

There are places now where you can order blood tests without seeing a doctor. You can learn to read your test results and determine on your own what you need in your body to get through this time in your life. This is how I'm choosing to deal with menopause. I am taking over because, if allowed, the doctors would have me on every drug they could get me on for symptoms they do not understand.

We are tired of accepting substandard care, being marginalized and over prescribed. We need doctors to pay more attention.