Hi, My name is Kristen and I am an alcoholic. 

Well, I’m not just an alcoholic. I am an addict. I have an addictive personality. Food, booze, weed, sex. 

Do You Have an Addictive Personality? From the Mayo Clinic: 

https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/do-you-have-addictive-personality-traits 

“Generally, addictions fall into two categories ― misusing or overusing substances and excessively engaging in behaviors regardless of the costs.

Addiction is distinguished by a person's inability to control the behavior, difficulty going without it, intense cravings for it and continued action despite negative consequences.

Addiction is often isolating. For some, it can be a self-medicated solution to underlying problems or trauma.”

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I over abuse substances because, I do, and always have, self-medicated to deal with my childhood trauma. 

Life is what it is sometimes. I also come from a long line of addicts. My kid is an addict, in recovery. 

I also have Menopause. 

Some people are going to have a hard time with what I am going to say next, but after dealing with addiction for years, this works for me. 

My addictions started with food, and I was a bulimic for six years when I was a teenager. When I stopped puking, because I got tired of it, the results were a lot of nausea. Your body gets used to puking when you do it 6 to 10 times a day for 6 years. To curb the nausea, I started smoking weed, which I had been doing for years anyway, but now it was a daily thing. 

I quit bulimia at age 18 and I stopped smoking weed at age 25. For about 10 years, I seemed fine. “Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do?” (Credit Adam Ant) I held my own with no addictions, no issues. I had a happy life. 

Then my first husband stopped sleeping with me. Apparently, according to wife #2, he had different sexual wants. It didn’t matter, I was still hot and do-able, and he didn’t want to play. I started drinking. 

I divorced him. But by that time I was drinking a ½ bottle of Chardonnay and a bottle of Merlot just about every night my kid wasn’t around. 

That continued for a bit until I met hubby #2. The drinking slowed down; I was happy. Then the shit hit the fan. 

I had to put 2 cats down at the same time, #45 was elected, we had Hurricane Irma. I lost my shit. I drank more that year than an army battalion on shore leave. 2017 just sucked. My organs weren’t too happy with all that booze either. My medical tests came back, and the results were not good. 

In January of 2018, I went to rehab. It was essentially a valium vacation and it “reset” me. I went three months without any mind altering substances. I did and still do drink, but I moved my addiction to weed so alcohol is more controlled.  

I need the weed because I have the HCG pregnancy hormone due to Menopause and get nauseous spells all day long. Without weed, I wouldn’t be able to eat. 

Is it an addiction? Absolutely. Is it still self-medicating? Of course. 

But I have tried to address my nausea with my doctors and none of them have anything useful to say, nor do they have anything to treat it. I continue my path. 

Menopausal women have enough to go through without bringing addiction into the mix, but it is here whether we like it or not. 

Menopause exacerbates our mood levels, our hormones, our aches and pains. Everything is just “more” than it ever used to be. Does that make sense? It did when I thought it. 

I found a cool article on this at: https://www.menopausegoddessblog.com/2023/11/the-role-of-hormonal-changes-in-addiction-relapse-during-menopause/ 

It’s worth a read. 

If you want or need to talk to someone about substance abuse, call the following hotline:  

1-800-662-4357 

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) 

SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.