ATTENTION: Please consult your doctor or medical professional before starting marijuana. It may affect other drugs you may be taking or marijuana may simply not be right for you.

I started smoking weed when I was about 16 after being around it since I was 8. I smoked for many years until I was 25 and for medical reasons I quit.

When menopause hit me at the age of 51, I really wasn’t interested in starting up again but less than two weeks into menopause, I changed my mind.

I was already at a loss for how to control my menopause and grasped the marijuana straw.

When the Symptoms of Menopause hit, like the three (3) minutes before a hot flash (3BHF), when I feel it coming on, my body goes through this....this....I don’t even know how to describe it but it’s like it has been taken over by something else over which I have zero control. For about three (3) minutes. Then the hot flash hits head on. That is the symptom you see: the hot flash. You do not see the 3BHF.

For three (3) minutes I get nauseous. My heart races. My brain goes into a frenzy.

Don’t ask me anything. Don’t touch me. Get out of my way. Seriously.

I lack control during these three (3) minutes. The 3BHF.

Multiply that by 10. Then 20. Then 30.

I have more than 20 hot flashes a day. I once recorded 2 every hour from 7am until 11pm. That’s more than 30 just during the hours I am awake. Sadly, that is not an anomaly. It happens multiple times a week and gets worse during the full moon and Jellyfish week. (See the Waikiki Aquarium Box Jellyfish Calendar.)

Now the 3BHF when I lose control is almost unbearable. During the 3BHF, I could lose it enough to hurt someone. I feel like I could want to hurt someone. It is not in my control. (I have never physically hurt anyone during my 3BHF, nor have I tried, mentally is another issue.)

For me, marijuana helps quell that desire. Whether it is to slit my wrists, rip off my clothes, break everything in the house. (I talk about suicide in another blog. I am not afraid to tell you I think like this during my 3BHF.)

I cannot be the only one who goes through this because if I was, I would be a medical marvel. Papers would be written about me and my experiences.

No, I know I am not alone.

You lash out at your significant other for no reason or the kids or your pets. Your co-workers, parents. No one is immune from the 3BHF.

It’s hard to apologize for it because it cannot be explained.

They don’t do studies on this stuff. How can they? We can’t explain it to ourselves, how can we explain it to others? Well, I am trying to. Trying to explain it to others so we can all understand this shit we don’t understand.

I see studies on brain changes, how menopause affects the brain, how menopause affects your brain structure, how menopause reshapes the brain.

But they cannot explain why it makes us feel the way it does. Doctors waive it off as a “symptom” of menopause without further concern.

There are menopausal emotional studies that focus on depression and anxiety. Many articles talk about just throwing you on an anti-depressant without looking at the brain to actually understand why this happens.

As women, we have been left out. Disregarded. We see it everywhere.

So, all that being said, to get through my 3BHF, I smoke weed and take edibles (I make my own). They calm the 3BHF enough to get me through a day.

Marijuana and other “natural drugs” versus HRT? It is 6 of one, half dozen to another to some, but to me, weed is a more viable solution with less harmful side effects. I am using something to help but, in my way, without supporting the drug companies, and it works for me.

Do you get the 3BHF? I am begging you to tell me about it.

I cannot be the only one. Neither can you.