Menopause and Sex - Not Tonight Dear, I Have Menopause (or Jump On Board Baby!)
Do you still love sex, think about sex, have fantasies? Can't get your brain on board with your body?
Eddie Murphy had a comedy bit you should find on YouTube about the female and orgasms called Cuming Hard. Funny as anything. He talks about how men simply need friction, but women need atmosphere. We also need to learn to turn off our working brain and be in the moment. Menopause is in no way helps that.
Let's get into some technical stuff. From Menopause.org
"What is desire? Sexual desire is your interest in sex and in being sexual. It has three interrelated components:
Drive is the biological component. It manifests as sexual thoughts and fantasies, erotic attraction to others, seeking out sexual activity, or genital tingling or sensitivity. Sex drive varies a lot from woman to woman and often varies from day to day based on a woman's daily activities, stress, and health.
Beliefs, values, and expectations about sexual activity. Your natural drive may be tempered by your personal attitudes toward sex, which are shaped by your culture, your religious beliefs, your family, your peers, and media influences. The more positive your attitudes are about sex, the greater your desire to be sexual.
Motivation. This component involves your willingness to behave sexually at a given time and with a given partner. Because it is driven by emotional and interpersonal factors, motivation is the most complex component of desire—and is increasingly recognized by experts as perhaps the most important. Generally speaking, a caring relationship is often required for most women to experience desire.
Desire usually (but not always) wanes with age. In general, sex drive decreases gradually with age in both men and women, but women are two to three times more likely to be affected by a decline in sex drive as they age. Reduced sex drive becomes much more common in women starting in their late 40s and 50s. The effect of age also differs by individual: some women experience a big decrease in sexual desire beginning in their midlife years, others notice no change, and a few report increased interest in sex at midlife. Those women whose desire increases may feel liberated by their new freedom from contraception or by newly found privacy if their children have recently left home."
And from https://www.verywellhealth.com/sex-after-menopause
"A number of factors can affect a person's sex drive, or libido. Because of this, not everyone's libido is affected by menopause in the same way. Although the changes in testosterone associated with aging can affect a person's sex drive, research suggests that a loss of libido isn't actually all that common. One study of 500 women in early and late menopause found that while 12% of the perimenopausal group reported a loss of libido, only 3% of the postmenopausal group reported the same.
What makes some people more susceptible to decreased libido? Testosterone fluctuations are only one factor. Other factors that have been shown to be associated with decreased sex drive during menopause include vaginal dryness, depression, and having children living at home."
More Sex After Menopause?
If the thought of sex still crosses your mind, then you should go for it. Need encouragement? Watch porn. Please get rid of the stigmas of it in your head. Porn can open your sex life up considerably. Talking with your partner also helps.
There are also products to consider. For example, Kava or Maca can be taken orally to get you going. Try one, try them all!